Santa

Defending Santa Claus

All events take place in Grinchville County in Winter Wonderland, a location that just so happens to be identical to San Antonio in every way, including its laws. The following excerpt is from a news article in the North Pole Gazette detailing the police investigation into the allegations against Mr. Claus:


Santa Claus has been arrested

Several individuals reported that an older gentleman, later identified as Kris Kringle (known on the streets as “Santa Claus”), communicated suspicious messages to them. Those messages included phrases such as “I see you when you’re sleeping, I know when you’re awake” and ”you better watch out, you better not cry” along with other disturbing messages about knowing whether someone has been bad or good.  Others reported their children’s actions, good or bad, were being watched by an “elf” who sat on their shelf. Sources tell us the elf is employed by Kringle. Investigators interviewed Kringle, who claimed he gathered the information to create a naughty list and a nice list.

Surveillance was then conducted on Kringle and investigators observed Kringle, with the help of unnamed accomplices, loading a sleigh full of bags containing unknown items.  Kringle then attached reindeer to the sleigh and took off into the sky.  The sleigh is equipped with a tracker, so police were able to follow the sleigh to see where it was going.

Witnesses saw Kringle land on rooftops of nearly every private residence within county limits. GPS information was able to confirm those statements.  At some locations, surveillance was able to pick up Kringle entering private residences through a chimney, only to pop up a few minutes later, with crumbs in his beard.  When police approached the homes Kringle had entered, this awoke the occupants.  One person reported that they didn’t see anyone enter their home, but that the cookies and milk left out as a holiday tradition was gone. Sources say that several other people also reported their cookies and milk had vanished with only crumbs left behind.

Armed with all of this information, the Grinchville Sheriff’s Department filed for and received a warrant and arrested Kringle.  The Law Office of Krause & Dailey, PLLC, has agreed to take Kringle’s case pro bono. Looks like this holiday season has gotten a little bit slippery…


Want to see what happens with Mr. Claus’s case? Follow us on social media to get updates for the rest of the month as we discuss what crimes Santa has been accused of.

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